It’s been a month since my first excited weekend when I decided I would BLOG E’ERY DAY, & a month since I last henna’d my hair. I’m getting roots (there’s a definite 8-9mm of brown & white hair close to my scalp), & I’m not even going to deny that I am Very Lazy. I kept meaning to tell everyone the wonderful things about my day, except.
Sadly, the kittens are no longer with us. The Gameboyfriend loaded them all in the car in a washing basket & took them to the Yagoona RSPCA, to be chipped & desexed, & adopted & loved. We raised them to be friendly, so they should make good pets. That was a few weeks ago & now I can hardly remember what it was like to have them, although The Gameboyfriend & Auntie Vera haven’t yet let me forget that I did try to eat one of them.
Now if only we could get rid of the fleas they infested the lounge room with. We’ve bombed the house twice & I think they’ve finally gone. Last night The Gameboyfriend came home with a present for me, which he proudly presented me with after strewing his clothes all around the house & leaving his shoes right in the walkway between my desk & the couch, where I always trip over them. His present was a nit comb. I had to comb his hair for ten minutes before he finally believed me that he does not have fleas (he doesn’t).
A few weeks ago I (re)read The Secret Dreamworld of a Shopaholic series (visit Readathon 2012 to view this year’s reading list) & found myself utterly appalled at Becky’s spending. I buy a fuck of a lot of clothes, e’ery day, & I get almost everything from second hand shops (cream silk dress, brand new with tags from a young Australian designer, $9.90? Fuck yes.) so I don’t pay a lot per item, but reading Becky’s fictionalised & OTT addiction to shopping made me wonder if I buy too much. That led to the wardrobe cleanout of March. Everything in that enormous pile hadn’t been worn in over a year, & a vast proportion of the clothes had never been worn by me.
I filled nine garbage bags & an enormous cardboard box with perfectly good jumpers, jeans, dresses, cardigans, shoes, boots, sandals, tops, everything. I buy so much rubbish because it’s $4 from the op-shop, or it’s green, & I hardly have any green (or red/pink/blue/orange/grey, everything except purple really, I hate purple), or it fits perfectly, & how rare is it to find a black pencil skirt that fits perfectly even though I’ve already got four at home that I don’t wear? Only I can’t throw them away because one day I will need a black pencil skirt/grey knitted dress/red singlet/pink elbow-length cardi, & I need this one because the one/five/nine I’ve already got might be too tight, too short, too long, not sexy enough for the outfit I find myself needing it for.
The clothes I kept still don’t fit in the space I have for them, & I don’t even store my clothes in our bedroom anymore. I used one of the spare bedrooms as my dressing room, with a built-in wardrobe, & it’s also jammed full of extra chests of drawers to store my stuff, & I had to justify long & hard to keep the clothes I did.
An example, I kept two almost identical long grey knit jumpers. They are exactly the same shade of dark grey, & the same shape – clingy tube. One is long enough to wear over opaque tights or leggings as a dress; the other is a few inches shorter & is definitely Not A Dress. (I am beginning to accept the limitations of Office Work and Things Which Are Not Dresses.) I should donate the shorter one to the Salvos, because I prefer longer jumpers that I can pretend are dresses because I’m quite short, but it has adorable little buttons on the sleeves, so I like it better than the longer jumper.
Really what I should do is cut the buttons off, sew them onto the dress-jumper, & donate the jumper-jumper back to the Salvos where I bought it. But they both only cost me about $6 & one jumper won’t make that much of a difference to my drawers so why can’t I just keep both? Only I over-analyse EVERY PIECE OF CLOTHING I OWN. Like hoodies. I don’t even like hoodies. They no longer fit my aesthetic, & I feel unsuitably casual when I wear them. Last year I wore a hoodie twice, I think, & once was because my old boss told me I always looked too nice to work for him. But each winter, when it’s cold, I find another adorable hoodie in an op-shop for $4-6, & I buy it because One Day I Might Want To Wear A Hoodie. This is why I own seven hoodies that I can think of. When I got home & go to my wardrobe, to my hoodie shelf, I bet I’ll find at least five more I’ve forgotten about.
I keep buying red things, because even though I hate red, & look terrible in red (I’ve a very pink complexion), one day I will think ‘this dress would be perfect with a red belt/cardigan!’ & I will need this red item of clothing, & I will hate myself for not buying it. Come on, it’s only $7, & I brought my lunch to work yesterday & today so I deserve it, for being so clever with my money.
In three weeks, I’ve bought one yellow dress, which I’ve challenged myself to wear to work one day each week. I’ve worn it to work four times now (twice in the first week, once last week & today), & changed up the shoes/belt/cardigan/handbag each time. It cost me $20, & so far it’s equaling all of those $5 sundresses I’ve bought from the Salvos, worn once & forgotten.
I’ve bought two pairs of black leggings, because I ripped open my two old pairs of black leggings irreparably on the same day. I bought a mustard yellow neck warmer (like a scarf, but less dangly & confusing) from a woman selling her hand-knitted wears for charity, because I appreciate hand-knitted items & for $5 it was a bargain. Not Buying Stuff is so hard, but at least I’ve given myself some leeway.
I bought the yellow dress because it’s very work-appropriate with a sensible skirt length, high neckline & cap sleeves, so I know I can put it on in the morning when I have eight minutes to get dressed & not worry about my tits or arse hanging out. I am allowed to buy Quality. I spent three days checking on the same black shoes in Wittner each lunchtime ($130, black leather flats with leather lining & arch support, & soles that won’t get soaked through if I have to walk through the rain) before deciding that even if I adored them, I wouldn’t wear them because the vamp was too high (sad, but true.), & that even though I’d cherish them for being expensive & not shit like all my Rubi & Payless black flats, I didn’t love them enough to justify spending $130, so it would still be a waste of money.
Why am I still talking about this. LAURA YOU DO NOT NEED ANY MORE CLOTHES.